TRUE! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and
am; but why WILL you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses,
not destroyed, not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I
heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell.
How then am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily, how calmly, I can tell
you the whole story.
It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain,
but, once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none.
Passion there was none. I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. He had
never given me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think it was his eye!
Yes, it was this! One of his eyes resembled that of a vulture -- a pale blue
eye with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me my blood ran cold, and so by
degrees, very gradually, I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and
thus rid myself of the eye for ever.
Now this is the point. You fancy me mad. Madmen know
nothing. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how wisely I
proceeded -- with what caution -- with what foresight, with what dissimulation,
I went to work! I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week
before I killed him. And every night about midnight I turned the latch of his
door and opened it oh, so gently! And then, when I had made an opening
sufficient for my head, I put in a dark lantern all closed, closed so that no
light shone out, and then I thrust in my head. Oh, you would have laughed to
see how cunningly I thrust it in! I moved it slowly, very, very slowly, so that
I might not disturb the old man's sleep. It took me an hour to place my whole
head within the opening so far that I could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha!
would a madman have been so wise as this? And then when my head was well in the
room I undid the lantern cautiously -- oh, so cautiously -- cautiously (for the
hinges creaked), I undid it just so much that a single thin ray fell upon the
vulture eye. And this I did for seven long nights, every night just at
midnight, but I found the eye always closed, and so it was impossible to do the
work, for it was not the old man who vexed me but his Evil Eye. And every
morning, when the day broke, I went boldly into the chamber and spoke
courageously to him, calling him by name in a hearty tone, and inquiring how he
had passed the night. So you see he would have been a very profound old man,
indeed , to suspect that every night, just at twelve, I looked in upon him
while he slept.
Upon the eighth night I was more than usually cautious in
opening the door. A watch's minute hand moves more quickly than did mine. Never
before that night had I felt the extent of my own powers, of my sagacity. I
could scarcely contain my feelings of triumph. To think that there I was
opening the door little by little, and he not even to dream of my secret deeds
or thoughts. I fairly chuckled at the idea, and perhaps he heard me, for he
moved on the bed suddenly as if startled. Now you may think that I drew back --
but no. His room was as black as pitch with the thick darkness (for the
shutters were close fastened through fear of robbers), and so I knew that he
could not see the opening of the door, and I kept pushing it on steadily,
steadily.
I had my head in, and was about to open the lantern, when my
thumb slipped upon the tin fastening , and the old man sprang up in the bed,
crying out, "Who's there?"
I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour I did
not move a muscle, and in the meantime I did not hear him lie down. He was
still sitting up in the bed, listening; just as I have done night after night
hearkening to the death watches in the wall.
Presently, I heard a slight groan, and I knew it was the
groan of mortal terror. It was not a groan of pain or of grief -- oh, no! It
was the low stifled sound that arises from the bottom of the soul when
overcharged with awe. I knew the sound well. Many a night, just at midnight,
when all the world slept, it has welled up from my own bosom, deepening, with
its dreadful echo, the terrors that distracted me. I say I knew it well. I knew
what the old man felt, and pitied him although I chuckled at heart. I knew that
he had been lying awake ever since the first slight noise when he had turned in
the bed. His fears had been ever since growing upon him. He had been trying to
fancy them causeless, but could not. He had been saying to himself, "It is
nothing but the wind in the chimney, it is only a mouse crossing the
floor," or, "It is merely a cricket which has made a single
chirp." Yes he has been trying to comfort himself with these suppositions
; but he had found all in vain. ALL IN VAIN, because Death in approaching him
had stalked with his black shadow before him and enveloped the victim. And it
was the mournful influence of the unperceived shadow that caused him to feel,
although he neither saw nor heard, to feel the presence of my head within the
room.
When I had waited a long time very patiently without hearing
him lie down, I resolved to open a little -- a very, very little crevice in the
lantern. So I opened it -- you cannot imagine how stealthily, stealthily --
until at length a single dim ray like the thread of the spider shot out from
the crevice and fell upon the vulture eye.
It was open, wide, wide open, and I grew furious as I gazed
upon it. I saw it with perfect distinctness -- all a dull blue with a hideous
veil over it that chilled the very marrow in my bones, but I could see nothing
else of the old man's face or person, for I had directed the ray as if by
instinct precisely upon the damned spot.
And now have I not told you that what you mistake for
madness is but over-acuteness of the senses? now, I say, there came to my ears
a low, dull, quick sound, such as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I
knew that sound well too. It was the beating of the old man's heart. It
increased my fury as the beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage.
But even yet I refrained and kept still. I scarcely
breathed. I held the lantern motionless. I tried how steadily I could maintain
the ray upon the eye. Meantime the hellish tattoo of the heart increased. It
grew quicker and quicker, and louder and louder, every instant. The old man's
terror must have been extreme! It grew louder, I say, louder every moment! --
do you mark me well? I have told you that I am nervous: so I am. And now at the
dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange
a noise as this excited me to uncontrollable terror. Yet, for some minutes
longer I refrained and stood still. But the beating grew louder, louder! I
thought the heart must burst. And now a new anxiety seized me -- the sound
would be heard by a neighbour! The old man's hour had come! With a loud yell, I
threw open the lantern and leaped into the room. He shrieked once -- once only.
In an instant I dragged him to the floor, and pulled the heavy bed over him. I
then smiled gaily, to find the deed so far done. But for many minutes the heart
beat on with a muffled sound. This, however, did not vex me; it would not be
heard through the wall. At length it ceased. The old man was dead. I removed
the bed and examined the corpse. Yes, he was stone, stone dead. I placed my
hand upon the heart and held it there many minutes. There was no pulsation. He
was stone dead. His eye would trouble me no more.
If still you think me mad, you will think so no longer when
I describe the wise precautions I took for the concealment of the body. The
night waned, and I worked hastily, but in silence.
I took up three planks from the flooring of the chamber, and
deposited all between the scantlings. I then replaced the boards so cleverly so
cunningly, that no human eye -- not even his -- could have detected anything
wrong. There was nothing to wash out -- no stain of any kind -- no blood-spot
whatever. I had been too wary for that.
When I had made an end of these labours, it was four o'clock
-- still dark as midnight. As the bell sounded the hour, there came a knocking
at the street door. I went down to open it with a light heart, -- for what had
I now to fear? There entered three men, who introduced themselves, with perfect
suavity, as officers of the police. A shriek had been heard by a neighbour
during the night; suspicion of foul play had been aroused; information had been
lodged at the police office, and they (the officers) had been deputed to search
the premises.
I smiled, -- for what had I to fear? I bade the gentlemen
welcome. The shriek, I said, was my own in a dream. The old man, I mentioned,
was absent in the country. I took my visitors all over the house. I bade them
search -- search well. I led them, at length, to his chamber. I showed them his
treasures, secure, undisturbed. In the enthusiasm of my confidence, I brought
chairs into the room, and desired them here to rest from their fatigues, while
I myself, in the wild audacity of my perfect triumph, placed my own seat upon
the very spot beneath which reposed the corpse of the victim.
The officers were satisfied. My MANNER had convinced them. I
was singularly at ease. They sat and while I answered cheerily, they chatted of
familiar things. But, ere long, I felt myself getting pale and wished them
gone. My head ached, and I fancied a ringing in my ears; but still they sat,
and still chatted. The ringing became more distinct : I talked more freely to
get rid of the feeling: but it continued and gained definitiveness -- until, at
length, I found that the noise was NOT within my ears.
No doubt I now grew VERY pale; but I talked more fluently,
and with a heightened voice. Yet the sound increased -- and what could I do? It
was A LOW, DULL, QUICK SOUND -- MUCH SUCH A SOUND AS A WATCH MAKES WHEN
ENVELOPED IN COTTON. I gasped for breath, and yet the officers heard it not. I
talked more quickly, more vehemently but the noise steadily increased. I arose
and argued about trifles, in a high key and with violent gesticulations; but
the noise steadily increased. Why WOULD they not be gone? I paced the floor to
and fro with heavy strides, as if excited to fury by the observations of the
men, but the noise steadily increased. O God! what COULD I do? I foamed -- I
raved -- I swore! I swung the chair upon which I had been sitting, and grated
it upon the boards, but the noise arose over all and continually increased. It
grew louder -- louder -- louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly , and
smiled. Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God! -- no, no? They heard! --
they suspected! -- they KNEW! -- they were making a mockery of my horror! --
this I thought, and this I think. But anything was better than this agony!
Anything was more tolerable than this derision! I could bear those hypocritical
smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or die! -- and now -- again --
hark! louder! louder! louder! LOUDER! --
"Villains!" I shrieked, "dissemble no more! I
admit the deed! -- tear up the planks! -- here, here! -- it is the beating of
his hideous heart!"
Allan Poe
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